Why did the chicken cross the road?
By Cannoli
On the CMB there was a post I decided to adapt for WoT. In it, there were a variety of answers given by historical and modern figures to the riddle, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Rand: "The FOOL! Is the chicken TRYING to spoil my plans? Burn me if I'll put up with it!"
Bela: "The chicken is my prophet. It crossed the road because I willed it so. The chicken and the road are my creation."
Narg: "Narg stay. Narg Smart. Car get chicken."
Moiraine: "I don't care if I told you the chicken would never cross the road. The wheel weaves as the wheel wills. Do not question me about the chicken."
Lan: "Who cares about the chicken? Tarmon Gaidon is coming! Trollocs are massing in the Blight, and everyone worries about the chicken. Someone has to do something about the Blight. Someone else. Not me. Unless my wife tricks me into it."
Egwene: "Because Elaida's ineptitude drove it across the road. A true Amyrlin would not have alienated the chicken so. I makes me furious. By the way, I barely cried when it pecked me."
Elayne: "Because it was in the pay of another House. I hope Mistres Harfor won't be mad about the feathers."
Perrin: "NOTHING MATTERS BUT FAILE!!! Nothing. *Sob* Faile loved chicken."
Faile: "If I can figure out why, the Wise Ones might not kill me. I hope Perrin doesn't have to hear about the chicken."
Cadsuane: "Pshaw! Boy, run across and get that chicken! I want dinner."
Verin: "Oh, well chickens, you see, I have always found them quite nice..." *gaze sharpens* "Of course some chickens have great significance in the Prophecies of the Dragon!"
Min: "Don't you say that!! It's not going to cross the road! I won't let it! I don't care if I had a viewing of the chicken on a crosswalk!"
Logain: "I thought YOU were in charge of the chicken, al'Thor? How did it end up over there? Taim lets chicken cross the road all the time. Are you going to deal with it? I know I would if I was the Dragon Reborn."
Elaida: "That chicken WILL be brought back across the road, or I'll assign a pennance to every sister in the Tower! Do you hear me? Do you think a nice white wine is good with chicken. And speaking of chicken, guess what Meidani... never mind."
Siuan: "What's a chicken? I got one for you. Why did the silverpike cross the river?"
Romanda: "In my day we didn't have all this fussing over frivolous chickens. I keep my chickens in line. Plainly the Mistress of Chickens isn't doing her job."
Tuon: *flick, flick*
Seluccia: "You have amused the High Lady. She will make you into a lowly slave, rather than a wretched one."
Aludra: "To get away from my dragons. They are for killing chickens the best. Bwa ha ha!"
Leilwin: "To properly make room for the High Lady on the sidewalk. Don't you know anything?"
Thom: *sigh* "Read this letter. Moiraine explains it all. There's also a recipe for chicken. But I cannot cook it unless you help me. No pressure. But I sure do like chicken."
Loial: "Male chickens are known as roosters (in the U.S., Canada and Australia), cocks, or cockerels if they are young. Female chickens are known as hens, or 'chooks' in Australasian English. Roosters can usually be differentiated from hens by their striking plumage, marked by long flowing tails and bright pointed feathers on their necks. However in some breeds, such as the Sebright, the cock only has slightly pointed neck feathers, and the identification must be made by looking at the comb. Both the male and female have distinctive wattles and combs. These organs help to cool the bird by redirecting bloodflow to the skin. In males, the combs are often more prominent, though this is not the case in all varieties.
Chickens have a flesh crest on their heads called a comb and a fleshy piece of hanging skin under their beak called a wattle. Chickens are often kept in gardens, not just in farms, and can make loving and gentle pets.
Chickens are omnivores and will feed on small seeds, herbs and leaves, grubs, insects and even small mammals like mice, if they can get them. Domestic chickens are typically fed commercially prepared feed that includes a protein source as well as grains. Chickens often scratch at the soil to get at adult insects and larva or seed. Incidents of cannibalism can occur when a curious bird pecks at a pre-existing wound or from over-crowding. This is exacerbated in close quarters. In commercial production this is controlled with chick "debeaking" (removal of 2/3 of the top half and 1/3 of the lower half of the beak). This "debeaking" process may be painful for chickens because their beaks are filled with nerve endings.
Domestic chickens are not capable of flying for long distances, although they are generally capable of flying for short distances such as over fences. Chickens will sometimes fly simply in order to explore their surroundings, but will especially fly in an attempt to flee when they perceive danger. Because of the risk of flight, chickens raised in the open air generally have one of their wings clipped by the breeder — the tips of the longest feathers on one of the wings are cut, resulting in unbalanced flight which the bird cannot sustain for more than a few meters
Chicken eggs vary in color depending on the hen, typically ranging from bright white to shades of brown and even blue or green (Auracana varieties).
Chickens are gregarious birds and live together as a flock. They have a communal approach to the incubation of eggs and raising of young. Individual chickens in a flock will dominate others, establishing a "pecking order", with dominant individuals having priority for access to food and nesting locations. Removing hens or roosters from a flock causes a temporary disruption to this social order until a new pecking order is established.
Chickens will try to lay in nests that already contain eggs, and have been known to move eggs from neighbouring nests into their own. Some farmers use fake eggs made from plastic or stone to encourage hens to lay in a particular location. The result of this behaviour is that a flock will use only a few preferred locations, rather than having a different nest for every bird.
Hens can also be extremely stubborn about always laying in the same location. It is not unknown for two (or more) hens to try to share the same nest at the same time. If the nest is small, or one of the hens is particularly determined, this may result in chickens trying to lay on top of each other.
Contrary to popular belief, roosters may crow at anytime of the day. Their crowing - a loud and sometimes shrill call - is a territorial signal to other roosters.
Chickens are domesticated descendents of the red junglefowl, which is biologically classified as the same species."