A Memory of Light Ch. 4: The Boat Chapter
by Paetram
(Working Title: Rand's Boat Adventure)
Rand [Somewhere in Camelyn, walking briskly through a forest]: If this plan is going to work, I'm going to need the girls here. I hope they got my message. It's risky, but this has to work... [Suddenly tripping over a fallen tree, Rand hits his head and is knocked out]
Aviendha [Stepping out of a gateway, accompanied by Elayne and Min]: You girls stay with me. I just can't deal with any more kidnappings today. Elayne, how many times is it for you now? Five or six?
Elayne: Go sit on a turnip, Aviendha.
Min: Oh! Look, it's Rand! He's dead!
Aviendha: What do you mean, he's dead?
Min: He must be. I viewed it and everything. The Forsaken must have caught up with him. Elayne, did you absolutely have to stop to take another bath! Don't worry, though. I know just what to do next.
Aviendha: What do you mean, "don't worry?" I think it's about time to start worrying! The Car'a'carn is dead!
Min: No, it's okay. We need a boat.
[Elayne starts crying.]
Aviendha: A boat?!
Min: Yes, I saw it in my viewing. We need a boat, so grab Rand's arm and let's go.
[They exhaustedly drag Rand through the mud for several hours. They see a riverbank approaching in the distance. A fisherman sits in his boat on the bank, looking at them curiously.]
Min: There's what we need. Let's talk to that guy and see if he'll let us have it. Elayne, stop crying long enough to simper to that guy over there.
Elayne [Wiping her eyes and straightening her dress]: Sir, we must have your boat. The very world is at stake.
Min: You see, we have to put Rand on a boat. Because he's dead.
Fisherman: If he's dead, shouldn't you bury him or something...?
Min: It's more complicated than that. It's all mythological and stuff. He's the Dragon Reborn.
Fisherman: Well, he's not anymore is he? He's the Dragon Redead. Ha ha.
Elayne: Good sir, I am your Queen. Please do what I say.
Fisherman: Yes, Ma'am. It's all yours. But there's something I need to tell...
Elayne: We'll be fine, humble laborer. Let us be on our way.
[The three ladies get into the boat, dragging Rand over the side behind them. He hits his head again.]
Elayne: Where are we going, Min?
Min: I don't know. Maybe we don't need to know. The viewing will take care of it, or something.
[Elayne starts crying again.]
Aviendha: Stop blubbering, Elayne, or I will kill you.
[Water seeps through a crack in the side of the boat.]
Elayne: My dress is wet!
[The cold water revives Rand.]
Rand: What the bloody...?
Elayne: Rand, you're alive!
Aviendha: Now I am going to kill both of you.
Min: My viewing worked!
[I like how this one turned out. Enjoy it while you can, the next one will probably suck.]