Ishamael : *cough* Well I’m free again. It’s been forty years. I think. I managed to gain a camcorder for myself, and I’m going to document this tour of the Bore before I get pulled back into this infernal trap.
David Attenborough : May I intervene? I’d like to commentate and document this rare find. For National Geographic?
Ishamael : Hmm… I guess I do need someone to hold the camera. Just keep your distance, and don’t make any sudden movements.
Interviewer : Okay.
Ishamael : Let’s go.
Interviewer : This is the Bore. The Locals refer to it as Wakiki Numpupi or the Frozen Leadership. It is here…
Ishamael : I gave you permission to follow, not blabber about. Now be silent.
Interviewer : Okay.
Ishamael : Here we are approaching the surface of the Bore. Two of my thirteen peers are sealed here. Aginor and Balthamel. They can see a little, and move. But they’re helpless. It’s been 500 years since Lews Therin struck the Bore, and look how grotesque they look.
Aginor :
Balthamel :
Ishamael : As you can see, I can pretty much say what I want. They can only make the tiniest of movements, and they both look grotesquely old. Yes you sick midden heaps, you heard what I said.
Aginor :
Ishamael : Meh… childish perhaps, but immensely gratifying. Imagine how they’ll look in a few thousand years, when their genitals have dissolved.
Balthamel :
Ishamael : Heh. Moving on. We are moving deeper into the weave. Here are some of my compatriots who are sleeping, but can move a little. They are not aware of me unfortunately. Here we have Sammael, Semirhage and Mesaana.
Semirhage :
Interviewer : Wow, she looks scary.
Ishamael : That’s her smiley face. Demandred had just told a joke.
Interviewer : Yikes.
Ishamael : I know! You should see her angry face. That’ll melt the skin off a Trolloc.
Interviewer : She’s quite pretty. I guess she could be friendly if she wanted to.
Ishamael : That’s like saying Moghedien could face an opponent head-on.
Interviewer : …
Ishamael : Never mind. Next is Sammael. He’s ugly, though the smile improves on his boyish demeanour.
Sammael :
Ishamael : Not much more to say. He’s an irritant. A huge wannabe. Mesaana…
Mesaana :
Ishamael : Who knows? Moving on…
Interviewer : Indeed.
Ishamael : This is the deepest part of the Bore. They are totally asleep, and unaware… and immobile. Look at this... *shows his butt*
Interviwer : *gasp*
Lanfear :
Ishamael : See, normally all hell would have broken loose. And believe me, I’ve tried far more grotesque acts during my free time… but nothing works. It’s liberating to walk around this part of the Bore naked, but not fulfilling to get no reaction.
Interviewer : Interesting. What’s he doing?
Demandred :
Ishamael : Oh him… he was caught with a full bladder. Moments before he wanted to leave the meeting, Lews Therin struck the Bore. Ironic…
Interviewer : What is?
Ishamael : That he was trapped for three thousand years with a full bladder. It proves that Lews Therin is the wrong man to detray. And they tell me the Pattern doesn’t have its own sense of humour. Mwah-ha-ha!!
Interviewer : Heh…
Ishamael : Laugh, damn you!
Interviewer : Mwah-ha-ha!!
Ishamael : Don’t make me tell you again. Finally we get to my favourite Forsaken. There’s really nothing to beat this…
Moghedien :
Ishamael : This woman showed utter shock at being caught. It probably preceded a hysterical wail for mercy though. But still… poetry in motion.
Interviewer : hmmm….
Moghedien :
Ishamael : Sometimes I stand here for hours staring at her shocked, comical and baboon-like expression. It reminds me of so many things.
Interviewer : Like what?
Ishamael : I’m trying to tell you!! It reminds me of the fallibility of the Light. It reminds me of how Moghedien wets her nappy, and on the other side of the world Paaren Disen collapses.
Interviewer : Hmm?
Ishamael : Sometimes the beauty of her expression is so overwhelming I want to cry out at its depth and meaning. God, I love philosophy. Well that’s all. Press the red button on the side of the camcorder and leave.
Interviewer : Okay. Thank you very much, sir….
Ishamael : Leave in silence. I don’t want to listen to your mousy voice.
Interviewer : …
Ishamael : Alone again. I love the silence. Hey… you there. What do you think of this? *drops his pants*
Lanfear :
Ishamael : Mwah-ha-ha! MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!